Rehearsal Order
About the Rehearsal:
Every member of the Wedding Party (bride and groom, Celebrant, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers, broom bearers, readers, musicians and any
other participants) should meet at the site and "run through" the ceremony. If the site is unavailable, please simulate the conditions as closely as you can. I will
be glad to research any traditions or cultures you choose.
This is entirely YOUR ceremony. Therefore, you should determine beforehand exactly which, if any, traditions you would like to follow, the way you want your
attendants to line up, the manner in which you would like them to enter and exit, where you would like them to stand, walk or sit. Please impress upon all
participants how important it is for them to attend the rehearsal and be on-time. If everyone cooperates, there is no reason for a rehearsal to last longer than
one hour. Please make sure I meet all participants. If you are choosing an outdoor venue, consider whether moving indoors would alter any plans.
Absences:
If you know that someone cannot attend the rehearsal, appoint a stand-in who will participate in the rehearsal and explain the duties to the participant before
the ceremony.
Wedding Coordinator:
If you have decided not to hire a wedding coordinator, consider asking a favorite friend or relative, who is not a member of the wedding party, to assist you by
coordinating the wedding and the rehearsal. On your wedding day, you do not want to be the only person who knows exactly how the wedding should flow.
Having a coordinator will give you a chance to fully enjoy your wedding ceremony.
Bring Props:
Please have on hand the actual or dummy props (Unity Candles, bouquets, broom sticks, rings, etc.) so that everyone can practice their actions.
Children:
It is especially important that any children who will participate in the ceremony attend the rehearsal. Please take care to speak with the children in a gentle and
thoughtful manner and have props (i.e. a dummy flower basket with petals, a broom, a pillow, etc.) that will allow them to practice their actions. This may be the
first time they "perform" in front of a group, let us make sure that it is fun and easy for them.
Scheduling:
Weddings are highly emotional times for everyone and may bring up emotions that are difficult to handle. Please schedule your rehearsal so that there is a built in
allowance for your participants to be a few minutes late or many minutes late depending on your guests! You know your family and friends -- If they are "never on-
time," it is unlikely that they will be on-time for such an emotional occasion.
Take Care of Yourself:
Do get enough sleep and eat healthy meals as your rehearsal and wedding approach. You will need to maintain your strength and perspective. Take time to
visualize your rehearsal and wedding ceremony, so that you will be able to address any complications and calm yourself. No matter what happens, do your best to
remain flexible, calm, and pleasant. Your spouse, attendants and guests want to celebrate with you. Being able to do so, is much more important than everything
running exactly as you planned. Remember to enjoy these moments! They will never come again.
General Pre-Rehearsal Instructions:
Introductions of people as necessary.
Tell everyone when to arrive for wedding and where they should go.
Men meet with Officiant.
Women meet at the Bride's room.
Discuss when pictures will be taken.
Advise that in case of mistakes, we will go ahead with wedding. (Fake rings if necessary)
No gum, please. Everyone relax and enjoy it. Be natural.
Men hold their left hand over their right.
Practice.
Go through once verbally.
Go through once quickly.
Go through as though it were real. (Don't say the whole ceremony.)
Step One -- Everyone in Place:
Line up the wedding party where they will be standing for the wedding ceremony.
Groom and his attendants on Officiant's left.
Bride and her attendants on Officiant's right.
The Bride and Groom face each other.
The Ring Bearer in front of the Groom's attendants.
Flower Girl(s) in front of the Bride's attendants
(Because the early Anglo Saxon groom, so often had to defend his bride from would-be kidnappers, she stood to his left, leaving his sword-arm free. The “best
warrior in the tribe stood by the groom and was responsible for helping defend the bride, thus the placement for the modern day best man).
Step Two -- Practice the Recessional:
After Officiant has declared the couple "husband and wife", they kiss and are announced as Mr. & Mrs. - Couple exits.
Flower girl and ring bearer follow.
Attendants from each side meet in the center and walk out as couples.
Bride's parents.
Groom's parents.
Bride's grandparents.
Groom's grandparents. (Or, each side of front row as an entire row, not person by person, since people are eager to congratulate the couple.)
Step Three -- Seating the Guests:
The ushers seat the family and honored guests at the announced time of the wedding. The front row is reserved for these special people.
At the rehearsal, you can practice escorting these special guests.
Remind the special people to wait in the back for their escort. Introducing them to their escort (usher) is all that's needed.
-Suggested order for special guests:
-Grandparents of the groom
-Grandparents of the bride
-Parents of the groom
-Mother of the bride
Ushers are instructed as to whether they are to seat guests generally, or as "friends of the bride or friends of the groom" and whether or not they are to walk
guests all the way to their seats, or motion them to empty seats.
In ancient days, fathers would offer daughters as peace offerings to warring tribes. Because of the hostility, the families were placed on opposite sides of the
church so the ceremony could go on without bloodshed. The ceremony united the two warring factions into on family, and danger of war was resolved.
Step Four – Processional:
Now the bridal party goes to the places from where they will enter on the wedding day.
Groom and his attendants go to the side (stage left, Officiant’s left side) The Bride and her attendants go to the back of the hall.
Wedding party enters and takes places where they were in Step One.
Groom and his attendants walk in from the groom's side, led by Officiant. OR Ushers escort the Bridesmaids.
Bride's attendants walking slowly, last outside bridesmaid first (processional music begins).
Maid of Honor walking slowly.
Ring bearer. Suggestion: Use fake rings for the Ring Bearer. (This avoids problems with dropping the rings or with the Ring Bearer refusing to relinquish
the rings).
Flower girl (sometimes accompanied by Ring Bearer).
Music changes as the Bride prepares to enter.
Officiant motions the guests to rise.
As the Bride approaches the front, the Groom may take several steps toward her and her escort and offer her his arm. The Groom is on the Bride's
right. The two of them then approach the Officiant, leaving the escort standing next to the row in which he will be seated -- usually on the Bride's side.
If the escort is to answer some question posed by the Officiant, he should remain standing until that question is asked, answer the question and be
seated. The usual options for his reply are "I do" or "Her Mother and I do" or "On behalf of her family, I do." If the escort is not to answer a question
from the Officiant, he should be seated as soon as the Bride and Groom are standing before the Officiant.
Step Five - Ceremony:
In Old Times, female children were deemed to be the property of their Fathers. When it came time for the daughter to marry and her father approved of the
arrangement, he was actually transferring ownership of his daughter to the groom. Today, it is seen as symbolic of the blessings and support of her union as a
promise of continued trust and affection. Often when the question is asked by a clergy during the ceremony, "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"
Officiant may ask "Who brings her here on this happy day of her life?" or "Who brings this woman to marry this man?" The person or persons escorting the bride
usually say: "I do", "We do", or "On behalf of all who love her, I do". Bride's escort takes seat in first row.
Officiant Performs the Ceremony:
The rings should either be on the Ring Bearer's pillow or in the custody of the Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor. If carried by the two "Best People", the Best
Man should carry the Bride's ring on his little finger and the Maid/Matron of Honor should carry the Groom's ring on her index finger or thumb. DO NOT allow the
Best Man to place the ring in his pocket. DO NOT have either of them carry the ring in a bag or box. Boxes, pockets and bags increase the chances of dropping
and/or losing the ring. **NOTE** Eight out of ten rings that have been lost or misplaced during the Wedding Ceremony, have been done so by the Maid/Matron
of Honor. The reason being that her relatively small hands have to hold onto a rather larger ring. For the Maid/Matron of Honor and the Best Man, have them put
the rings on a finger and curl the fingers. The rings will not go anywhere. If the rings are on the Ring Bearer's pillow, the Best Man will remove them and give
them to the Officiant, one at a time, with the Bride's ring first, or deliver both rings at the same time.
The Bride and Groom face the Officiant for the initial portion of the Ceremony, then face each other while both hands are joined for the Vows and Rings. (If the
Bride has not done so, she is to give her flowers to the Maid/Matron of Honor prior to joining hands.
You will have worked out, with the Officiant, what you are going to say during the Wedding Ceremony. During the Vows, you may either respond to a question
(with I Do or I Will) or the "Repeat-After-Me", or insert your own vows to each other. For the exchange of the Rings, release your right hands, leaving your left
hands still connected. Each will be asked to repeat after the Officiant as they place the ring on their partner's finger.
** IMPORTANT NOTE ** RINGS NEVER FIT!!! DO NOT make too much of a struggle out of it. No one can see whether the ring has cleared the last knuckle or
not. **DO NOT use oils, lotions or Vaseline!!! By the time the ring is passed around and ready to place on the finger, it will make everything more difficult. As
you face the Officiant again, you can wiggle the ring on your own finger much more easily than you partner could.
After the exchange of the Rings, Bride and Groom continue to face the Officiant until the end of the Ceremony. Then they will face each other for the kiss.
The Bride then gets back her flowers and the Bride and Groom turn to face the guests. Before the Recessional music starts, the Officiant may formally present the
two of you to your guests, if you have arranged for him to do this. Then the Recessional music begins.
Step Six -- Practice Recessional again:
The Traditional Church Wedding features two Bridal Marches, by two different classical composers. The Bride walks down the aisle to the majestic, moderately
paced music of "The Bridal Chorus" by Richard Wagner's 1848 opera, "Lohengrin" and the Newlyweds exit to the more jubilant, upbeat strains of "The Wedding
March" by Felix Mendelssohn's "A Midsummer Night's Dream".
When everyone feels comfortable with their roles; it is time to eat, drink and be merry!
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