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About the Rehearsal:

Every member of the Wedding Party (bride and groom, Celebrant, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls,

ring

bearers, broom

bearers, readers, musicians and any other participants) should meet at the site and

"run

through" the ceremony. If the site is

unavailable, please simulate the conditions as closely as you

can. I will be

glad to research any traditions or cultures you

choose.

This is entirely YOUR ceremony. Therefore, you should determine beforehand exactly which, if any,

traditions

you would like

to follow, the way you want your attendants to line up, the manner in which you

would like them to

enter and exit, where you

would like them to stand, walk or sit. Please impress upon all

participants how

important it is for them to attend the rehearsal

and be on-time. If every one cooperates,

there is no reason for

a rehearsal to last longer than one hour. Please make sure I

meet all participants. If

you are choosing an

outdoor venue, consider whether moving indoors would alter any plans.

Absences:

If you know that someone cannot attend the rehearsal, appoint a stand-in who will participate in the

rehearsal

and explain the

duties to the participant before the ceremony.

Wedding Coordinator:

If you have decided not to hire a wedding coordinator, consider asking a favorite friend or relative, who is

not

a member of the

wedding party, to assist you by coordinating the wedding and the rehearsal. On your

wedding

day, you do not want to be the

only person who knows exactly how the wedding should flow.

Having a

coordinator will give you a chance to fully enjoy your

wedding ceremony.

Bring Props:

Please have on hand the actual or dummy props (Unity Candles, bouquets, rings, etc.) so that everyone

can

practice their

actions.

Children:

It is especially important that any children who will participate in the ceremony attend the rehearsal. Please

take

care to speak

with the children in a gentle and thoughtful manner and have props (i.e. a dummy

flower basket

with petals, a broom, a pillow,

etc.) that will allow them to practice their actions. This may be

the first time they

"perform" in front of a group, let us make sure

that it is fun and easy for them.

Scheduling:

Weddings are highly emotional times for everyone and may bring up emotions that are difficult to handle.

Please

schedule

your rehearsal so that there is a built in allowance for your participants to be a few

minutes

late or many minutes late

depending on your guests! You know your family and friends -- If they

are

"never on-

time," it is unlikely that they will be on-

time for such an emotional occasion.

Take Care of Yourself:

Do get enough sleep and eat healthy meals as your rehearsal and wedding approach. You will need to

maintain

your strength

and perspective. Take time to visualize your rehearsal and wedding ceremony, so

that you will be

able to address any

complications and calm yourself. No matter what happens, do your

best to remain flexible,

calm, and pleasant. Your spouse,

attendants and guests want to celebrate with

you. Being able to do so, is

much more important than everything running

exactly as you planned.

Remember to enjoy these

moments! They will never come again.

General Pre-Rehearsal Instructions:

		Introductions of people as necessary.
		Tell everyone when to arrive for wedding and where they should go.
		Men meet with officiant.
		Women meet at the Bride's room.
		Discuss when pictures will be taken.
		Advise that in case of mistakes, we will go ahead with wedding. (Fake rings if necessary)
		No gum, please. Everyone relax and enjoy it. Be natural.
		Men hold their left hand over their right.
		Practice.
		Go through once verbally.
		Go through once quickly.
		Go through as though it were real. (Don't say the whole ceremony.)

Step One -- Everyone in Place:

		Line up the wedding party where they will be standing for the wedding ceremony.
		Groom and his attendants on Officiant's left.
		Bride and her attendants on Officiant's right.
		The Bride and Groom face each other.
		The Ring Bearer in front of the Groom's attendants.
		Flower Girl(s) in front of the Bride's attendants (Because the early Anglo Saxon groom, so often had to defend his
		bride from would-be kidnappers, she stood to his left, leaving his sword-arm free. The "best" warrior in the tribe stood by the groom and was responsible for helping defend the bride, thus the placement for the modern day best man).

Step Two -- Practice the Recessional:

		After Officiant has declared the couple "husband and wife", they kiss and are announced as Mr. & Mrs.
		_____________.
		Couple exits.
		Flower girl and ring bearer follow.
		Attendants from each side meet in the center and walk out as couples.
		Bride's parents.
		Groom's parents.
		Bride's grandparents.
		Groom's grandparents. (Or, each side of front row as an entire row, not person by person, since

people are eager to congratulate the couple.)

Step Three -- Seating the Guests:

		The ushers seat the family and honored guests at the announced time of the wedding. The front row is reserved for
		these special people. At the rehearsal you can practice escorting in these special guests.
		Remind the special people to wait in the back for their escort. Introducing them to their escort (usher) is all that's
		needed.

-Suggested order for special guests:

-Grandparents of the groom

-Grandparents of the bride

-Parents of the groom

-Mother of the bride

Ushers are instructed as to whether they are to seat guests generally, or as "friends of the bride or friends

of the

groom" and

whether or not they are to walk guests all the way to their seats, or motion them to

empty seats.

In ancient days, fathers would offer daughters as peace offerings to warring tribes. Because of the

hostility, the

families were

placed on opposite sides of the church so the ceremony could go on without

bloodshed. The

ceremony united the two warring

factions into on family, and danger of war was resolved.

Step Four – Processional:

		Now the bridal party goes to the places from where they will enter on the wedding day. Groom and his attendants go to
		the side (stage left, Officiant's left side). The Bride and her attendants go to the back of the hall.
		Wedding party enters and takes places where they were in Step One.
		Groom and his attendants walk in from the groom's side, led by Officiant. OR Ushers escort the Bridesmaids.
		Bride's attendants walking slowly, last outside bridesmaid first (processional music begins).
		Maid of Honor walking slowly.
		Ring bearer Suggestion: Use fake rings for the Ring Bearer. (This avoids problems with dropping the rings or with the
		Ring Bearer refusing to relinquish the rings.)
		Flower girl (sometimes accompanied by Ring Bearer).
		Music changes as the Bride prepares to enter.
		Officiant motions the guests to rise.
		Bride enters with escort on her left.
		As the Bride approaches the front, the Groom may take several steps toward her and her escort and offer her his arm.
		The Groom is on the Bride's right. The two of them then approach the Officiant, leaving the escort standing next to the row in which he will be seated -- usually on the Bride's side.
		If the escort is to answer some question posed by the Officiant, he should remain standing until that question is asked,
		answer the question and be seated. The usual options for his reply are "I do" or "Her Mother and I do" or "On behalf of her family, I do." If the escort is not to answer a question from the Officiant, he should be seated as soon as the Bride and Groom are standing before the Officiant.

Step Five - Ceremony:

In Old Times, female children were deemed to be the property of their Fathers. When it came time

for the

daughter to marry

and her father approved of the arrangement, he was actually

transferring ownership of his

daughter to the groom. Today, it is

seen as symbolic of the blessings

and support of her union as a promise of

continued trust and affection. Often when the

question is

asked by a clergy during the ceremony, "Who gives

this woman to be married to this man?"

Officiant may ask "Who brings her here on this happy day of her life?" or "Who brings this woman

to marry this

man?" The person or persons escorting the bride usually say: "I do", "We do", or "On behalf of all

who love

her, I do".

Bride's escort takes seat in first row.

Officiant Performs the Ceremony:

The rings should either be on the Ring Bearer's pillow or in the custody of the Best Man and

Maid/Matron of

Honor. If carried

by the two "Best People", the Best Man should carry the Bride's

ring on his little finger and the

Maid/Matron of Honor should

carry the Groom's ring on her index

finger or thumb. DO NOT allow the Best Man

to place the ring in his pocket. DO NOT

have either

of them carry the ring in a bag or box. Boxes, pockets and

bags increase the chances of dropping

and/or losing

the ring. **NOTE** Eight out of ten rings that have been

lost or misplaced during

the Wedding Ceremony, have been done

so by the Maid/Matron of Honor. The

reason being that

her relatively small hands have to hold onto a rather larger ring. For

the Maid/Matron of

Honor

and the Best Man, have them put the rings on a finger and curl the fingers. The rings will not go

anywhere. If the rings are on the Ring Bearer's pillow, the Best Man will remove them and give

them to the

Officiant, one at a

time, with the Bride's ring first, or deliver both rings at the same time.

The Bride and Groom face the Officiant for the initial portion of the Ceremony, then face each

other while both

hands are

joined for the Vows and Rings. (If the Bride has not done so, she is to

give her flowers to the

Maid/Matron of Honor prior to

joining hands.

You will have worked out, with the Officiant, what you are going to say during the Wedding

Ceremony. During

the Vows, you

may either respond to a question (with I Do or I Will) or the

"Repeat-After-Me", or insert your own

vows to each other. For the

exchange of the Rings, release

your right hands, leaving your left hands still

connected. Each will be asked to repeat after

the

Officiant as they place the ring on their partner's finger.

** IMPORTANT NOTE ** RINGS NEVER FIT!!! DO NOT make too much of a struggle out of it. No one can see

whether the

ring has cleared the last knuckle or not. **DO NOT use oils, lotions or Vaseline!!! By the time the

ring is passed around and

ready to place on the finger, it will make everything more difficult. As you face the

Officiant again, you can wiggle the ring on

your own finger much more easily than you partner could.

After the exchange of the Rings, Bride and Groom continue to face the Officiant until the end of the

Ceremony. Then they will

face each other for the kiss.

The Bride then gets back her flowers and the Bride and Groom turn to face the guests. Before the

Recessional music starts,

the Officiant may formally present the two of you to your guests, if you have

arranged for him to do this. Then the

Recessional music begins.

Step Six -- Practice Recessional again:

The Traditional Church Wedding features two Bridal Marches, by two different classical composers. The Bride walks down the

aisle to the

majestic, moderately paced music of "The Bridal Chorus" by Richard Wagner's 1848 opera, "Lohengrin" and the

Newlyweds exit to the more

jubilant, upbeat strains of "The Wedding March" by Felix Mendelssohn's "A Midsummer Night's

Dream".

Rev. Mark Martin, Wedding Minister/Wedding
Officiant Serving Columbus and all of Central Ohio

Rehearsal Order

Weddings
by Mark